Why is this?
Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?
Answer 1
Recently, we have seen that young people from developed and wealthy countries are engaged in unpaid work like of teaching and construction not in their own country but in the communities of poorer countries. There are various reason behind this which are discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin with doing unpaid work helps to develop the quality of selflessness among youngsters. By doing such work they get a hand on experience which will help them to get job in their own country.
Secondly they might have the thought that we should follow the idea of each one teach one by which various unprivileged people of poorer countries get an opportunity to educate themselves. By this they will be able to make a nation a educated one. For instance, there is a community named “FLIP” in USA which visit regularly to poorer countries to help them in providing education and building home for them. So that they get their education hassel free. They don’t charge a penny for it.
To conclude this, I think that both communities and young people are benefited from this. On one side, as young people get hand on experience which benefit them to get not only good job but also helps to enhance their personality and on the other hand, communities in the poorer countries will able to create a better future by these opportunities.
Synopses:
Grammar- occasional grammatical errors are visible ( there are various reason behind this…..to make a nation a educated one…… a community named FLIP which visit……communities in the poorer countries will able to…..)
Vocabulary- Repetition and sometimes wrong usage of certain expressions indicates a limited vocabulary, (hand on experience…. Benefit from….)
Structure- in many instances the structure is not able to clarify the intended meaning (secondly they might have……….. to educated themselves, here the usage of they and themselves is not highlighting the subject correctly)
Punctuation- many a time, punctuation marks have not been added as per requirement (To begin with doing unpaid work……, Secondly they might have the thought that……)
Overall, however, the candidate understood the question before attempting the answer and yet the mistakes in the write up prove it to be around lower intermediate level.
Example 2
Presently more and more youngsters from fully fledged countries are inclined towards moving to a developing nation and performing voluntary work. It is more beneficial to youngsters than a receiving country. Also, it possesses various reasons behind youngsters choosing to do it, which shall be discussed.
To commence with, individuals may migrate to a poorer country and become a volunteer to obtain contentment because money can provide outer happiness; however, fails to impart satisfaction to one’s conscious and a sense of fulfilment attained from helping someone in need is indescribable. Additionally, richer countries, such as the USA are indulged into drugs and some youngsters, refraining from drugs, prefer moving to even a poor country to save themselves from this disastrous impact. Thus, younger ones prioritize an under developed country for their safe and contented future.
Although, youngsters might move to another country due to the aforementioned causes, it benefits them in numerous other ways too. Firstly, it can help them gain experience. While working whether at a construction site or in a school, it is obvious to come across different situations and obstacles. After solving them, enormous experience is gained, which can be helpful to them for the entire life.
Secondly, volunteer work can become a prime reason to obtain employment because a volunteer always deals with deplorable circumstances and is considered as more experienced than other people. Therefore, many renowned schools, colleges or other companies prefer volunteers as suitable candidates.
To sum up, even though to get inner satisfaction and an alternation in ambience, sometimes, poor countries are preferred yet many other benefits are obtained by young ones to lead a happy and prosperous life.
Synopsis
Vocabulary: although involves a reasonable range, yet occasional wrong usage of words is visible (conscious instead of conscience…. Refraining from instead of willing to refrain from….)
Grammar: Grammatical aspect is more or less satisfactory.
Structure: Sometimes the structure of the sentence is not able to convey the idea originally intended (Additionally, richer countries……………from this disastrous impact, here the expression needed to be ‘its disastrous impact’ to convey that they do not want to get under the influence of drug usage. Even conclusion seems to be not conveying the idea fully.
Overall, this is a good piece of write up yet the unclear structure can be called a pitfall of this essay.
Sample 3
World of today is more like a global village where people belonging to richer places love to help those in underprivileged ones. This is happening even at inter-nation level. Let’s ponder the reasons and what consequences this brings.
The first and foremost cause of this volunteering is the awareness of plight of deprived nations. The interconnectivity in the nations has brought into light the issues being faced by needy and the youth who is enjoying abundance of resources is showing willingness to share them with others. Moreover, when they see others depressed and dissatisfied despite reaping benefits of development, they divert their attention towards distressed people to give them as well as themselves a sense of relief.
This drift towards humanitarianism is bringing advantages to both, the communities as well as youth. Commencing with communities, the biggest advantage is that those in dire need get a chance to improve. As they get aided by affluent people, they get a chance to enhance their lifestyle and living conditions, particularly when they end up enjoying such benefits without investment of time and even money. As a matter of fact, the societies as a whole gain, as the same resources can be shared by both, thus putting less burden on raw material and nature alongwith.
In the same manner, youth also profits since the sense of accomplishment that they gain after seeing thankful eyes is unmatchable. It not only gives them intrinsic motivation but also makes them wiser and inculcates traits such as patience and contentment.
To end up the discussion, in my opinion, the prevalence of this vogue is a renaissance of altruistic emotions and is equally virtuous for youth as well as fraternities that use such possessions.
Synopsys:
Vocbulary: Some handicap in choice of words. E.g. renaissance and use such possessions.
Syntax and Expression: Again some ideas lack clarity. E.g. when they see others depressed and dissatisfied despite reaping benefits of development (who is reaping?), and them as well as theselves (should be them as well as to their own self). Similarly, in the first sentence of paragraph 3 communities as well as youth is and hazy expression. The word both in the last line of the same paragraph lacks clarity as to what this word is referring to.
Grammar is mostly ok. Occasional blunders. E.g. the word youth is dealt with as a singular noun in the beginning of the essay but as a plural noun towards the end of the same.