How do you think children should spend their free time?
Sample 1
A section of society thinks that youngsters are given too much leisure time. Also they think that this time should be used for doing more school work. In my opinion, I believe that children should have the opportunity to decide themselves about utilizing their free time. In following paragraphs I will discuss same.
To begin with, study is also as much important for children as following their passion or playing sports. Children already spends 6-7 hours of their day in schools doing school work and studying, therefore, they should be given some free time after that for relaxing and refreshing their minds. It should be upto them whether they want to sit and relax or take nap at their free time, or they want to do some mind soothing activities like singing or painting. Pressure and burden of studies and performing well in their exams is already on their mind 24*7 and by making them do more school work in their free time will only make them exhausted and restless. They will also lack motivation if this happens.
Moreover, it should be and it is children’s choice to choose what they want to do in their “me time”. Besides, they should also get the opportunity to spend their time for their hobbies. This will not only motivate them to focus but will also make them stress free and enjoy each and every ounce of their life. In addition to this, children nowadays are swamped with their school work and they hardly get any free time in their busy schedule, they should spend it by doing their own things.
To conclude this, children have right to do what so ever they want to do with their free time. Therefore, it is upto them whether they want to spend it by doing school work or by doing extra-curricular activities.
Synopses:
Sentence structure: At certain places the student has shown the tendency of abstractness in the structure ( to begin with, study is also……… whereas before this structure, only topic was introduced so addition of also actually renders the structure unclear.) by making them do more school ……….will only make them exhausted, here usage of by is a structural/syntactical error. Also, making them…….. wil only make them sounds bad.
Grammar: Grammatical mistakes can be seen at many place ( children already spends 6 to 7 hours……., use of upto without space…..
Overall, this can be considered a fairly good composition as ideas have been chalked out and explained without much effort.
Sample 2
According to folks, more idle time is given to a child while they perceive that they should be occupied by giving more homework. In my opinion, there are many ways by which children can utilize this leisure time that would make them a bolt and confident person.
To commence with, youngsters could indulge themselves in learning some new skills. This is because apart from academic studies there are many activities which would prove to be beneficial for their personality development. For example, they could learn martial art which is highly advantageous for self-defence, mental and physical health, boost confidence and also brings up leadership quality. In addition, in the future they can also think of making a career in this field. They can also use this time to improve their communication skills, computer and much more.
Furthermore, another thing which a child can do during their free time is doing self-study. When they make the habit of revise every topic covered in the class on the same day this would enhance their understanding and make it easier for them to retain the concepts. Moreover, they would be studying every day and would not pile up the things for the end moment. As a result, this will automatically improve their academic performance and also save their precious time and huge money of their parents which they would otherwise spend on providing them a private tutor to make them study.
In conclusion, I would say that the idea of giving ample amount of school assignment would ultimately burden the student. I personally believe that they should be given some leisure time learn something new that would help them to improve their overall personality and also utilise this time for self-study.
Synopses:
Structure: No clear cut opinion has been highlighted in the beginning of the essay, making it confusing as for what the writer intends to say. The first sentence itself is highly ambiguous on account of the use of the pronoun they, without any noun having been given for it to refer to. Then in the sentence starting, ‘’As a result, this will automatically…………..’’ again the use of they is abstract, not highlighting where the parents are being referred to and where the children.
Grammar: unclarities about grammatical usage is visible at certain places ( In my opinion, there are many ways which…….. here the word ‘in’ is missing between ‘ways’ and ‘which’ is absent. Another error is the use of wrong form of verb: In the sentence starting, “When they make the habit of revise every topic………”, it should be revising. The prepositon ‘of’ is followed by ‘–ing’ form of the verb and not the present form.
Wrong word usage: bolt instead of bold,
Overall, the task response is good enough but apart from the above mentioned issues, the tendency to repeat the expressions sometimes will reduce the overall score.
Sample 3
Free time is one thing which everyone utilize according to the way they want. It is always argued that kids are given too much free time. They believe that they should utilise this time by completing more of their school work. I completely disagree with this perspective which is supported by the following paragraphs.
To commence with, doing homework all time makes the child dull and boring. There is no doubt that it is mandatory for a kid to do his homework as it will help him recall better but on the other hand, if he keep on doing homework during his free time it will lead to the boredom due to which he might loose interest in studies. For that he should utilize his spare time in reading books other then of curriculum which will help them to enhance their knowledge.
Secondly, they can take part in sports. Sports play a crucial role in the mental and physical health of a child. If they indulge themselves in the sports they like during leisure hours, it would help them to rejuvenate their mind. By which they will be able to perform better in academics.
To conclude this, doing whole day work without having free time make a jack dull. Participating in sports they like make their free time a worthwhile.
Synopses:
Grammar: Wrong use of relative pronoun ‘which’ in the first para. The writer does not want to support the perspective but their disagreement to the same, instead. There are mistakes in the verb usage (subject verb agreement) as in….. Free time is something which everyone utilise (should be utilises..) ….. If he keep on doing…. (right verb should be keeps)
Structure: They believe that they should utilise this time… (abstract structure as it does not specify who is “they”……) Doing homework all the time makes the child dull and boring…. (here the correct word is bored…)
Vocabulary: Usage of loose instead of “lose” shows less knowledge of appropriate vocabulary. For this he should utilise his free time….. Here ‘then’ is used in place of “than”…… ; an unsuccessful attempt at using proverb in the beginning of conclusion.